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My husband and I recently experienced a profound and life-altering event. It all started when he fell seriously ill and had to be admitted to the hospital, where he remained for a turbulent 17 days. During this time, I found myself coping with intense fear and uncertainty, as there were moments when his condition seemed to worsen, and I feared the worst. The thought of losing him was unbearable, and I was overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of emotions that accompanied such an agonizing experience.


Each passing day brought a mix of hope and despair, as I navigated the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with witnessing the love of my life's health hanging in the balance. The hospital became both a place of solace and a source of immense anxiety for me, as I struggled with the fragility of life and the uncertainty of what the future held for us. I found myself clinging to every ounce of strength and resilience I had, determined to stay by his side and provide whatever support and comfort I could.


Through this challenging ordeal, I discovered a renewed appreciation for the depth of our love and the resilience of the human spirit. It was a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing every moment we have with those we hold dear. As we emerged from this trial together, I found myself filled with a profound sense of gratitude for his recovery and a renewed sense of purpose in cherishing each day we are given together.



Hospital stay

Maintaining our bond


Maintaining our bond and connection during his hospital and rehab stay was of paramount importance for both of us. The days seemed endless, filled with a rollercoaster of emotions ranging from fear and uncertainty to hope and resilience. Despite the exhaustion weighing heavily on both of us, we found solace in the small moments of togetherness - a reassuring touch, a shared smile, or a simple card game. As we navigated through the challenges and setbacks, our connection deepened, becoming a source of comfort and strength for us both. Our shared experiences during this trying time served as a testament to the power of love and commitment, reinforcing the importance of staying connected even when faced with the most difficult circumstances.


Embracing life after returning home


After this exhausting period, he has finally returned home and is currently in the process of recovering. His determination and resilience throughout this journey have been truly inspiring. Since coming home there have been numerous doctor appointments, physical therapy sessions, and adjustments to his medications. Despite the obstacles, both of us have managed to resume our work, meeting with clients and gradually establishing a new routine that accommodates his ongoing healing process. It's been a journey filled with ups and downs, but his unwavering spirit and our shared commitment to moving forward have been the driving forces behind our progress.



The Transformative Role of Intimacy in Cultivating Meaningful Connections Post-Illness


Now that we have returned home and things are returning to normal, our daily schedule is back on course. The recent occurrences have affected our personal life, particularly with Mark still recuperating. We are still figuring out how our intimate life will evolve in the future.


Healing and health

Reflecting on the 5 stages of Sexuality, we are currently in the Healing stage of our Physical Intimacy. We are finding ways to maintain our connection and intimacy, such as sitting on the couch holding hands, reading a book and sharing our thoughts with one another, enjoying candlelit dinners, showering together, and starting our day side by side. We share lots of kisses and hugs, and make it a point to go to bed at the same time to cuddle before falling asleep.



Rekindling Physical Intimacy Post-Illness

The close physical connection between us has always been very important. We are gradually moving towards rekindling our physical intimacy. Slowly and cautiously navigating our path towards reestablishing the fulfilling sexual relationship we cherish and have become familiar with.


We began by softly embracing each other's bodies. Exchanging gentle kisses, caresses, and light touches. Each of us taking turns to be the one receiving, without any expectations. Simply receiving. Touching skin to skin. Connecting heart to heart.


Sex isn't the goal.


Orgasm isn't the goal.


Being together, to be close, connecting through touch, sharing intimate moments with one another is the goal.


Recognizing that this process may last for weeks or even months can feel overwhelming. Yet, the idea of existing without Mark is beyond my understanding.


So, we will persevere on this path to recovery as a united front. Understanding that we have each other and that our full physical connection will return gradually. Acknowledging that true intimacy encompasses much more than just the physical aspect.


So much more.



My love and I coming home
Last day in rehab! Ready to go home!


"True intimacy is the opening from one soul to another. No gift on earth can compare with it, for it touches us more profoundly than our imagination can envision. When two people share their lives, freely, openly, without reservation, it is as if each had become complete."



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There are five basic stages of sexuality. In this blog post, I will break those down and give you a little more information on each one. You will see yourself in at least one or maybe even all of them from different times in your life!


I have been through all of these stages! I believe we vacillate between them. We aren't always one or another. It really depends on where we are in our life at that particular moment in time.


Keep reading to learn more!


The Five Stages of Sexuality


RESTING


I was in this stage when I was in a sexless relationship. I found myself wondering what happened to my sexual desire. Now, I recognize I was searching for a greater sense of connection, intimacy and passion.


You can choose to be in a Resting Stage.


You could be taking a break from sex by choice; or are still a virgin.


Man resting

Maybe you just had a breakup and feel you want to take some time in between relationships before getting involved again sexually.


You may also be in the resting stage because you’re healing (see the next stage). For example, you may have just had a baby and can’t have intercourse, and you do not want to have any other kind of intimate contact until you officially get the green light from your doctor.


Resting is not a bad thing and can sometimes lead to even better sex when done consciously and from choice. #resting


HEALING


I entered my Healing Stage when I came out of a physically and verbally abusive marriage. I needed time to heal my body, mind, sexuality and my spirit.


If you are in this stage you are seeking to overcome your sexual obstacles and heal what keeps you from having great sexual experiences. In your past, you may have been sexually abused or survived a relationship that had a negative impact on your sexuality. Or maybe you just went through a breakup and need some time to heal emotionally.


You may be working to overcome sexual shame, guilt or fear that is holding you back from truly enjoying your sensuality and physical pleasure. Or you may be dealing with a physical issue such as painful intercourse; trauma after surgery; erectile dysfunction; or premature ejaculation.


Positive sign

The Healing Stage can be a powerful stage that takes your sexual life to the next level.


The trick is to not allow yourself to get stuck here, especially if you have a partner who is in a different Stage and in need of sexual activity.


How long you stay in this stage will depend upon what type of healing you need. #healing


CURIOUS


I personally love this stage! I am always curious about not just my sexuality but the sexuality of others as well!


In this stage, you want to learn more about your sexuality and how you can make it better. You are most likely interested in Erotic Intelligence and raising your Erotic IQ. You want to learn how to become a better lover through techniques that will enhance your skills, as both a giver and receiver, of pleasure.


You are intrigued by things like sexual anatomy; erotic massage; oral lovemaking; intimacy and connection; and creating “sexploration” times to indulge your curiosity.


cat peeking in window

The trap of the Curious Stage is that you can get so into learning that you don’t implement or practice anything you’ve learned. Make sure you play with exploration and get “hands-on”.


So, Explore and Play! #curious


ADVENTUROUS


This is another one of my favorite stages! I finally have the confidence and freedom to explore my sexuality! It is an amazing feeling!


In the Adventurous Stage you give yourself permission to experience freedom when it comes to sexual pleasure.


Couple playing in bed

You like to explore your sexuality by stepping outside of the box.


You are usually sexually self-expressed. You aren’t afraid to try new things.


You may like to get a little kinky. You are interested in learning more about topics such as bondage; role-play; anal sex; open relationships; and other “taboo” topics.


You love sex and exploring while having fun and trying new things. You may love variety as a way to keeping your sexual relationships spicy and “hot”.


If you are Adventurous it’s important to keep boundaries and safety in mind.


Some individuals in the Adventurous Stage judge partners who might be in Healing or Curious Stages and they put pressure on the situation. Practice patience and healthy boundaries. #adventurous


TRANSFORMATIVE


I really enjoy the Transformative Stage too! I have been in this stage when I was single and with my husband. Sexual energy is very powerful and when an intention is set that energy can manifest amazing things in your life!


If you are in the Transformative Stage you are interested in experiencing the “more” to sexuality.

ripple in the water

You are learning transformational sex or sacred sexuality; Tantra; Sexual Shamanism; or Taoist practices.


No matter the label, you want to move beyond the physical and into the realm of all that is erotically possible.


You may be interested in using sexuality as a conscious tool for personal growth and development.


You may find Eastern philosophies and ideas fascinating and are drawn to learning more about these practices. #transformation


Conclusion


We all go through the different stages of Sexuality. Each stage provides us with an opportunity to learn and grow as a sexual being.


When we accept and lean into each stage not only do we transform our sex lives but ourselves as a sexual person. We can then have a better understanding of ourselves and our partners.


We may not always be in the same stage as our partner and that is okay. Honoring and respecting where we are and where our partner is will only strengthen your relationship and your sex life.


If you are interested in learning more about the 5 stages of Sexuality, reach out to me! Let's schedule a time to talk!



The best feeling in the world is being loved back by the person you love.


My love and I on a cold winter day enjoying the beauty of a waterfall.




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Most people don't know what a Pleasure Profile is much less what their's or their partners might be. Learning more about your own profile and finding value in your individuality not only allows you to receive more pleasure but to give more pleasure as well.



Woman and man with leaves

Want to know more? Keep reading!


What is pleasure?


Pleasure in American English as a NOUN:

  1. a pleased feeling; enjoyment; delight; satisfaction

  2. one's wish, will, or choice "What is your pleasure"

  3. a thing that gives delight or satisfaction

  4. gratification of the senses; sensual satisfaction

  5. amusement; fun

Pleasure as a VERB:

  1. to give sexual enjoyment or satisfaction to "Tell me what will pleasure you."

  2. to take pleasure in

  3. derive enjoyment from

I believe we all have an inherent desire to pleasure and to receive pleasure by our partner. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Pleasure is great right!


Learning more about your Pleasure Profile helps you gain knowledge about what works for you. Then, you can let your partner know. In gaining this knowledge about yourself, you can start to see similarities and differences in your partner's profile.


what is a pleasure profile?


Your Pleasure Profile is unique to you. Just like in everything, we are all different and all one of a kind. In discovering your Pleasure Profile you begin to learn what works for you and what doesn't.


What sensations work for you? What feels good and not so good? Are there certain sounds or words you enjoy hearing? Or, is it more about what you are feeling in your body at the time? Is it the energy you feel from your partner? Is it more about what you see or the directness of the touch? Do you like it hard and fast or easy and slow?


All of these give us great information about our profiles!


We all have 5 different Erotic types in our bodies. The combination and percentages are different and some are more prominent that others. However, keeping in mind that just like in all things, this may shift based on where we are in our lives at the time. I also find that usually our dominant type stays dominant at our core.


I learned about the different Erotic types through my Erotic Blueprint training. I ask all my clients to take the quiz and get the results to me! The results are amazing!


What are the 5 different types?

  1. Sensual: The Sensual profiles are usually focused on the 5 senses. What they can feel, smell, taste, hear and see.

    • Sensuals like touch, fingers running across the body, feathers, soft materials, luscious tastes and smells, candle light, soft music. You can see a Sensual Profile in the stores touching and feeling everything soft or smelling every bath soap or hand lotion.

2. Energetic: The Energetic profiles are all about the Energy. Most Energetics

are interested in Tantra, Tantric Sex, connection on a different level with their

partners. Energetics can often tell when something is off with a partner. There

are 2 types of Energetics. Light Energetics tend to be lighter and more

beyond this world oriented. Dark Energetics tend to be more sultry and

passionate.

  • Energetics do not like to be touched or hugged out of nowhere. They can often feel you before you touch them and startle easily. They might feel the energy in the room walking in. Energetics will often say things like "she feels off to me", "the energy in here is too much", "I get a nice vibe from him". It is hard for an Energetic to have one night stand with someone they haven't at least had a drink with.

3. Kinky: The Kinky profile is anything and everything taboo. There are 2

different types of kink. Sensation Kink- Impact play, bondage, pain in varying

degrees. Psychological Kink- Name calling, Degradation, Eye contact

restrictions.

  • Kinks enjoy anything that is taboo or different. Out of the normal everyday routine. Kinks tend to be ones who will give their partner a quick pop on the ass walking by or in the bedroom. Hair-pulling, handcuffs, nipple clamps or perhaps sex with multiple partners. You may notice Kinks have a lot of tattoos.

4. Sexual: The Sexual profile is all about the sex! Direct stimulation and very

visual. They want to see it and touch it. Sexuals are all in and fast. Slowing

down can be difficult.

  • You will notice Sexuals staring at breasts, asses, and crotches. They can be touchy feely when they find someone who is interesting to them. They can also be very sexually blunt. Some have no problem just saying "I want to fuck you".

5. Shapeshifter: The Shapeshifter profile wants it all! More and more and more!

New and different everything! New experiences, new sensations and the more

the better!

  • Shapeshifters are always looking for the next sexual experience. Shapeshifters are a combination of all of the profiles at once. They are also pleasers in the bedroom and outside of it.



Pleasure Profile


This is what mine looks like! I am dominantly a Kinky profile, although my profile shows equal of 3 parts. However, based on my preferences and the knowledge of myself I know that I am more of a Sensation Kink Profile. And, I play in all of the profiles!


Why is it important to know your profile?


Knowledge is power! When you really learn about your Pleasure Profile you can gain a deeper understanding of what pleasure your body is longing for. It opens up a whole new world of play!


When our Pleasure Profile isn't being fed we shut down sexually. We don't enjoy sex, we don't enjoy our partners, sometimes we just go through the motions because we are expected to and it can lead to affairs.


In some men, I see this lead to Erectile Dysfunction. When we really start to explore their profile they learn ED wasn't really the problem at all. They were sexually starving.


In some women, I see this lead to not being able to reach orgasm. Again, some are starving to be sexually fed.


Once my clients gain the knowledge of their Pleasure Profile it 's like a light bulb goes off and it all makes sense! Once they have the knowledge there is no turning back!


How can you learn about your pleasure profile?


Schedule a consult call and let's talk! We can schedule a session and get started on you having a better and more pleasurable sex life!


I'll combine your Pleasure Profile with a tailored Sensation Play session. You will experience different sensations in your body and learn more about your pleasure!


You can also take that knowledge out into the world and out to your partner or soon to be partners! Once you know more about Pleasure Profiles, you have the ability to pleasure your partner based on their needs too!



My thoughts
"If pleasure is what you want, do not suppress the desire. Seek it intelligently."
~Huston Smith
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