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  • Writer's pictureLisa Neville

Ask a Sex Coach-Does Size Really Matter?

I am often asked this question by male clients. Does size really matter? In short, NO!

Believe this or not, men are much more concerned about the size of their dicks than women. Society plays a big role in this. Media wants us to believe if you don't have a big dick you can not bring a women to orgasm. Regardless, of what you heard in gym class, in the locker room, or by watching porn this simply isn't the truth.

The average size of a flaccid dick is around 3.61 inches in length and 3.5 inches in girth. The average size of an erect dick is around 5.2 inches in length and 4.5 inches in girth. For most women, girth is more important than the length of a mans dick.

For some women, being too big is much more of a problem because it can be painful. Being too big can also be a problem during oral and anal sex. Too much girth can also tear a women's vagina.

A big dick doesn't last longer than a small dick, keep a man from running out of steam, or make you come faster. However, having a big or a small cock can affect how you have sex. It is up to you to learn to make the most with what you have. Working with a Sex Coach can help you with that.

Some men think having a big cock is all that is needed to bring a women to orgasm. It's not. Men with smaller cocks may have less confidence and try to overcompensate. It is not the size but what you do with it that matters.

I have had amazing sex with men that had smaller than average dicks. They had amazing oral sex skills or knew how to position themselves to rub along my pelvis to bring me to clitoral orgasm. I have also had really bad sex with men who had big dicks. They were all about how big they were and thought just penetration would bring me to orgasm. It is all in how you use what you have.

We aren't taught to even have sex much less great sex . We fumble around and hope that what we are doing feels good to our partner. If our partner isn't telling us the truth or doesn't know what really good sex is, you both stay stuck in bad sex. Why would you choose to have bad sex when you can have a Sex Coach teach you how to have great sex?

Did you know there are certain sex positions that can be used just for your size and girth? Positions both you and your partner can enjoy. Smaller men may need to focus on "doggy style" where you can go deeper by having your partner lower their head and chest while arching their back. Men with thinner cocks may need to have their partner keep their legs together during sex. Men who are larger may need to let their partner be on top so she can control how deep the penetration is.

Of course, oral sex and using your hands or using a sex toy increases the chance for clitoral or anal orgasms. Use your fingers to find all the pleasure spots in your partner. Enjoy the exploration! The possibilities for pleasure are endless!

Being good in bed or wherever you chose to have great sex isn't about the size of your dick it is about how you handle it. Figuring out what feels good to you and your partner and choosing different moves that make the most of your size will serve you better than worrying about it will. So have fun!

Here are some Do's and Don'ts if your dick is smaller than average:

  • Don't compare yourself to others. 85% of men over estimate the average size and assume everyone else is bigger.

  • Do be confident even if you have to fake it. Confidence is sexy and stressing about your size will ruin sex. Practice positive self talk. This isn't easy. Seeing a Sex Coach can help with this.

  • Don't be afraid to use toys. Not because "they can do what you can't", because different sensations are fun! Adding toys makes you look confident and skilled. Your Sex Coach can help you chose the right toys and help you learn the best ways to use them.

  • Do improve your hip flexibility. This allows for deeper penetration. Your Sex Coach can show you different hip stretching exercises.

Here are some Do's and Don'ts if your partner's cock is smaller than average:

  • Don't lie. Lying and acting that they have a big cock can do more harm than good to your relationship and their self confidence.

  • Do be patient. Penis anxiety is as real as any other body image issues. It may take time for your partner to become comfortable with you. I can help with body image issues using different exercises.

  • Don't fake it. You both deserve to have great and satisfying sex. Play with other techniques and communicate openly about what does and doesn't work. Having a Sex Coach can help you both become more comfortable in asking for what you want.

  • Don't ask if it is in. This is pretty obvious right? You would be surprised by how many clients have to be reminded of this. If you're not sure reach down and feel to be sure.

A big dick is not necessary for amazing sex but confidence, communication and willingness to try new things are. Seeing a Sex Coach can help you with all of these. Isn't your relationship and your sex life worth it?

The key to having great sex is making the most with what you have. Having the confidence you need to walk into the bedroom with your partner and know that you are going to have great sex. Having the skills to communicate with your partner about what works and doesn't work for you and always being willing to try new things. If you try it and realize you

don't like it, you just don't do it again.

Many people struggle with doing these things on their own without help. Helping people have a Better Sex Life is amazing work. That is why I love what I do! What can be better than helping others experience the very best sex life they can have? I can't think of anything!

Lisa Neville Sex and Intimacy

Sex and Intimacy Coach

Better Sex 4 U

My love and I at the beach in St Augustine, Florida. We both love going to the beach! The smell of the ocean, the heat of the sun, cold drinks and even better company!


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