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  • Writer's pictureLisa Neville

ask a sex coach- is there help for my erectile dysfunction? Part 1 of 2

Is there help for Erectile Dysfunction?

Yes, if you are willing to do the work!

Erectile Dysfunction is such a big topic I am going to divide this into 2 separate blog posts.

I see 2 different components to ED. There is the Physiological or medical component and Psychological or mental component.

Today, I want to talk about the physiological components.

Let's start by learning more about what Erectile Dysfunction is according to the Mayo Clinic.

Ugh! Just the sound of that is awful!

Man upset about Erectile Dysfunction

Now, let's look at ED from a different perspective.

He discusses many topics in this book and specifically addresses ED.

Here is an excerpt from his book about ED.

Sexual problems are normal and should be expected. Sexual disabilities and issues are not the sign of failure that we have come to see them as. Susan Bordo states "the penis is not a dildo" (1999 pg. 64) recognizing that the penis is a live, fragile, complex organ, run by a live, fragile, complex human being.

It is not just a biology of hydraulics, as urologist and pharmaceutical companies want us to believe. It carries relational, intrapsychic, cultural and familial symbolism.

Individuals should see difficulties in functioning not as problems but as challenges to expand their understanding of how to be sexual, including experimenting with behaviors and instruments they have not tried.

WOW! What a different perspective!

Here are some facts you may not know.

30 million!

3629 million dollars!

This is what Urologists and Pharmaceutical companies have made selling treatments and medications for men to get a hard on.

I get it, sometimes these medications are needed. I also know that sometimes lifestyle changes can help you get the same results.


What can you do for Erectile Dysfunction?

Let's start by talking about the effect of medications.

ED can be a side effect of taking antidepressants and blood pressure medications.

I recommend talking with your primary care doctor. Are there any other alternatives to the medications you are taking?

I am not advising you to stop taking your medications.

Depression, anxiety and hypertension can possibly be effectively managed by changing your lifestyle.

Are there things you can change? Do you need to eat healthier? Do you need to exercise? Do you need to stop smoking or cut back on drinking alcohol? These can be factors that contribute to ED.

Diabetes and Heart Disease are also contributors to ED. These diseases can be heriditary and you can also change your lifestyle to be healthier.

Low Testosterone can play a role in decreased libido. Research doesn't show that low testosterone is a factor in ED.

However, if you are living with low testosterone it can have an effect on your health and well-being. If you feel better because your hormones are balanced, you may have more energy and your mood may be brighter.

What can help with ed?

Flavones are typically found in fruits and veggies.

You will find concentrated flavones in:

  • Chamomile tea

  • Bergamot juice

  • Artichoke heads

  • Kumquats

  • Bell peppers


  • Strawberries

  • Blueberries

  • Apples

  • Pears

  • Citrus fruits


  • Natural Omega 3's

  • Wild salmon instead of cold water salmon

Olive Oil

  • Use unrefined and extra virgin olive oil

Whole grains

Purchase products that are 100% whole grain.

  • Bread

  • Cereal

  • Crackers

Healthy salad

Herbs and spices

  • Parsley

  • Thyme

  • Rosemary

  • Chives

  • Tarragon

  • Oregano

Meats and poultry

L-arginine is an amino-acid found in protein reach foods such as:

  • Poultry

  • Red meat in moderation

  • Fish

Nuts and legumes

  • Almonds

  • Walnuts

  • Pistachios

  • Kidney beans

  • Black beans

  • Pinto beans

  • Great Northern beans

  • Navy beans

Leafy Greens

  • Kale

  • Arugula

  • Spinach

  • Leafy Lettuce

  • Broccoli

You can add radishes and carrots to that list as well!

Tea and coffee

  • Tea increases Flavonoids as part of a healthy diet

  • Coffee in moderation may help build resistance to inflammation

Now that we have looked at things that can possibly help with your ED. Let's talk about what you might want to avoid.

What should I avoid?

Here are some things you may want avoid when managing ED.


Sugar leads to weight gain and a high body mass index. Excessive body weight and an increase in BMI can lead to ED.

High Fat meals

People with high cholesterol levels, high blood pressure , obesity and are smokers may have an increased risk of Atherosclerosis.

Atherosclerosis is a build up in the inner lining of the arteries. As a result of this build up there is a reduction of the oxygen supply and blood flow to the organs.

What is your cock? It's an organ!

Make sense?

McDonalds meal

Alcohol use

Alcohol can also affect your sexual health.

An article from the National Institute of Health states that 72% of men with alcohol dependence had one or more sexual health problems, such as ED, premature ejaculation or low sexual desire.

Excessive alcohol consumption can reduce blood flow to your dick so you may not be able to get hard.

stop smoking

Men who smoke are about twice as likely to develop ED as nonsmokers.

Smoking hampers circulation to all areas of your body, including your cock, making it tougher to get and keep an erection.

Limp dick

Are there other things that can help?



Ugh! There is that word!

Yes, exercise can be very helpful.

Even a brisk 30-minute walk a day, 3-4 times a week can help!

In an article published in 2018 it was found exercising at least 2 1/2 hours a week helped reduce erectile problems that occur with obesity, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease.

Pelvic floor exercises

Yep! Pelvic Floor exercises (Kegel) exercises aren't just for women.

Kegel exercises can benefit you as well!

Kegels help strengthen the bulbocavernosus muscle.

This important muscle has 3 jobs:

  • it allows the cock to engorge with blood during erection

  • it pumps during ejaculation

  • it helps empty the urethra after urination

You can do pelvic floor exercises in your car on the way to work!

final thoughts

If your partner isn't the most pleasant person to have a conversation with, of course you aren't going to want to have sex with her. Maybe there is more going on with your ED than just not being able to get hard, maybe your relationship needs help.

If your dick goes limp, you still have fingers and a tongue use them!

The average American time of thrusting with a hard cock after penetration is about 2 1/2 minutes! It takes a woman longer than that to get fully aroused and reach orgasm.

The most important thing you can do to have a satisfying sex life is to talk with your partner. Communicating with your partner is key, especially when you are coping with Erectile Dysfunction.

Talk openly about your desires and fears. If you are experiencing ED, your partner may worry that you no longer find them attractive. Or, they may feel like they are doing something wrong.

It's important to reassure each other and remain supportive.

You are not alone.

It is ok to ask for help if you need it.

Reach out to me and let's work on getting your Sex Life back on track.

"I believe that, with anything in life, if you have the patience, desire and passion, you can do whatever you set your mind to". Ed Viesturs

My love and I going up the mountain to The Land Of Oz in Beech Mountain, NC.

The Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies! We enjoyed the day and enjoyed being together even more!

Lisa Neville

Sex and Intimacy Coach

Better Sex 4 U


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