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Image by Jakub Sofranko
  • Writer's pictureLisa Neville

Sex Coaching, Erotic Massage and Erotic Generosity

Recently, my husband and I reviewed some videos we previously watched on Erotic Massage. We just wanted a refresher. This is something the two of us really enjoy doing for each other and offering to others.


We have had a friend over on a couple of different occasions and offered her an awesome 4 handed massage. Doesn't that sound amazing?!


Erotic massage is sensual and healing for all involved. For the two of us giving the massage and for the recipient of this beautiful gift! We absolutely love it!


In revisiting these videos, we watched Ben Haggard talk about Taoist Erotic Massage. He discussed how Taoist Erotic Massage differed from how traditional massage therapists are taught.


Ben Haggard Taoist Erotic Massage

He states, "Massage therapists are trained to teach their clients that the body is beautiful, that the body is sensuous, that the body can be honored and healed through touch, and they are encouraged to communicate this with regard to every part of the client’s body except the genitals and the anus. These, in contrast to the rest of the client’s body, must never be touched."


"I believe that this ban on touching actually conveys its own message. What is being conveyed to thousands of clients, in thousands of massage sessions all over this country, is in fact a very deep wounding to the body, as masseur after masseur refuses to touch the body’s most profoundly intimate and tender places – the genitals and the anus."


He also expresses, "At the most basic level, Taoist Erotic Massage is about pleasure. It is wonderful to be touched. It is wonderful to be turned on. It is really wonderful to feel every tissue of the body awake, vibrating with sexual energy. This kind of pleasure is not usually available to most individuals, at least in our culture. So TEM is a great way to enhance or expand our capacity for pleasure."


Psychology Today's Nicole K. McNichols, Ph.D. published an article on The Vital Importance of Human Touch. The need for human touch is one of our most basic, primal needs. Touch deprivation is correlated with negative health outcomes like anxiety, depression and immune system disorders. Lack of physical touch was part of the reason the COVID pandemic was so difficult.


EROTIC MASSAGE


Do Sex Coaches offer Erotic Massage? In the state of NC, you have to be a licensed Massage Therapist to accept payment for massage. I am not a licensed Massage Therapist. In the state of NC, Erotic massage is not considered legal. Hopefully, that will change one day.


You can have erotic pleasure alone during your self-pleasure practice. And, we need and desire to be touched by another person.


self pleasure

An Erotic Massage is generally the same as you would receive from a regular massage therapist. The exception would be the areas that are normally "No Touch Areas" would receive the attention they deserve.


This touch is sensual, therapeutic, and healing. It includes your breasts, cock, balls, inside and outside of pussy and anus. There are many different techniques to each of these areas. You are massaged in areas that normally do not get a lot of touch and creates a lot of different sensations in the body.


For many men, soft cock massage can be amazing. Just being able to relax into your body and just feel. There are no expectations during the massage. You can be soft, semi-erect or fully erect. Your erection may come and go. That's Ok!


For women, pussy massage can be incredible. Again, just being able to relax into your body and just feel. No expectations. To have your pussy really massaged, from the outer lips to the inner lips, the clit, the inside of your pussy being touched everywhere. Not for the purpose of orgasm just to be able to feel all of your beautiful pussy.


It is ok to move your body if you need to, breathe and make whatever sounds you want. In Erotic Massage, you, your partner or your practitioner spread the beautiful and healing sexual energy all over your body.


Erotic genital massage is very arousing and may or may not end with orgasm. Again, there are no expectations!


EROTIC GENEROSITY


In watching Ben Haggard's videos again another comment stood out to my husband and I. He talked about Erotic Generosity.


Of course, that really got our minds thinking about what "Erotic Generosity" really looks like in our lives as a couple, as individuals, our relationships with others and with clients.


Erotic Generosity as a couple.


We are both very generous lovers and enjoy one another immensely! However, we wanted to look at this from the perspective of our every day lives. Not just with sex.


Yes, sex is erotic and the rest of the day can be as well. We wanted to look at how we do with that? We found we do this very well. We express affection throughout the day, a stolen kiss, hug, rub across the butt or a soft pass on his cock as we are standing in the kitchen. Sitting oil the couch with his cock in my hand, just so I can touch him.



Love your body

Erotic Generosity as an individual.


I speak for myself here. I do this very well.


I adore my body. How I touch and caress my body is exquisite. I love touching and looking at my body. I love how soft my hands are as I glide them across my body. The way my nipples respond to my touch. My wetness. My taste. My smell.


I love wearing make up and beautiful jewelry. I love dressing erotically and feeling the soft cloth or leather against my skin.


I love my whole erotic being! ME!





Erotic Generosity in relationship to others.


Yes!


Erotic generosity in our conversations, compliments, attentiveness, the soft touch or lingering hug I offer.


Erotic Generosity with my clients.


Absolutely!


From our initial consultation.


Most of the people I talk with are sexually aroused by our conversation. I give them permission to be aroused. I let them know this is completely normal to become aroused sometimes even prior to our phone call. Just the anticipation of it. Some will need to self pleasure after our call and that is ok.


Definitely in sessions.


We are discussing and practicing everything erotic! Eroticism and arousal are completely normal during sessions.


How does it get any better than that?!


Everyones idea of erotic generosity is different. It could be engaging in kink. It could be a massage. It could be in self pleasure. It could be in just talking. As long as it is consensual with the other person. It is ok!


Erotic generosity is both in the giving and receiving.


Erotic generosity is healing.


Erotic generosity is beautiful and life-affirming.


Take a moment to really think about what Erotic Generosity means to you. What can you do either alone or with your partner? Watch the videos from Ben Haggard on Erotic Massage. You will not regret it!



" Eyes reveal unsaid things. The innocence, the flirtations, and the naughtiness all emanate from the eyes." ~ Avijeet Das

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